Tips on How to handle Children and Divorce...
Most adults cringe when you mention divorce, at the very least. And how do you handle children and divorce?
As hard as divorce is on the two adults involved, the impact on the little ones can be absolutely devastating. Little boys and girls live in a little box. Their world is very small and can be smashed so easily. When the two main adults in their lives are arguing and decide to split up, their first thought is, “what did I do?”
It's so very important to remember during such a hard time, children need protection and tons of love and attention. It's unfortunate that oftentimes the children are pushed aside, forgotten and neglected, as two adults get wrapped up in a whirlwind of emotions and withdraw into a world the child can't possibly understand.
The effects can leave life-long scars. They suffer from feelings of guilt and anxiety just as strongly as we adults do. Most children don't have the ability to see beyond their own little worlds.
It is possible to get through a divorce successfully and without hurting the young ones any more than it will naturally. Adults know how to handle the pressure and stress that such a big change causes. Children can be crushed by such a heavy weight.
Counseling for the kids is an excellent route. There are professional counselors out there that specialize in children and divorce issues. This brings in a neutral person whose feelings can't be hurt, someone whom the children can relay their feelings to without fear of punishment. Children caught in the midst of adult problems spend a lot of time trying not to hurt the feelings of either one of their parents.
If their needs are not met, they will battle all their life with trust issues. Our children are too important to neglect. As easy as it is to get caught up in a world of selfishness as you try to protect yourself from damage, it's more important to remember that children aren't born with the capability to get through the changes that divorce causes.
If it's absolutely necessary that you split from your spouse, if divorce is imminent and you don't see any chance of reconciliation, keep your children in mind and at the forefront of your attention. They need to be nurtured and loved twice as much during this trying time. Remember: children and divorce do not mix well.
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